Aha, so maybe not =P but I was at a loss for a good title.
The show went fairly well, all things considered. A few technicalities stopped our day from being really great, but I'm proud of Garth on the whole and mostly happy with our day. I'll break down the show in a second here but our placings were: 1st showmanship (=D have no complaints about that one, he was really good), 2nd english pleasure (a little put out over that one as we missed a lead, which he has been doing a lot lately...I'll have to add working on leads to the ever growing list), 5th english equitation (my fault entirely, I was on a wrong diagonal, which is stupid because I've ALWAYS been a stickler for my diagonals...lately I've been trying to rush into posting, though, and I wind up rising once and then having to change), 3rd trail (he was pretty worked up and balked at the sidepass, but I can't complain as we made it through the pattern), 5th western pleasure (I am NOT impressed with this class...it was generally just a mediocre ride that could have been a lot better...I'm just a little frustrated with how things went), nothing in reining as he blew a couple leads, 4th command (which we got entirely by luck, haha), and then he made up for mostly anything else by giving me an awesome horsemanship ride (the judge said it was the best she'd seen all day), winning the class.
Friday's ride was...interesting. I started off riding him in the lifesaver bit to practice for the show, and discovered that Garth at a show and Garth at home are two entirely different things - even more so that I'd already figured. He wouldn't relax, and didn't want to give me any forward movement. He was also being stupid about the one corner, as he will when conditions are cooler and threatening rain, and as the lifesaver is a lot of bit I can't take up much contact, so I just gave up and switched back to the snaffle. I was expecting him to continue being silly, but nope. I noticed a difference immediately after I switched bridles - he relaxed and shrank a couple inches, and reached down for the bit as we started working. I chalk it up to him being so much more attuned to me and less distracted by everything else when we ride at home - he's just too sensitive for that much bit. The rest of ride went quite well on the whole, but it showed me that we have to do a lot more work on circling and just going where I point him in general without getting flustered - something he has trouble with. I'll talk to Connie, but I really think the only answer to this is to just do a lot of walking and jogging off the rail, doing every random thing I can think of, and then moving on to loping. He has trouble loping circles in frame, and it's hard for me to get after him while trying to keep him on the circle. What I'll likely have to do is get him circling good and balanced and then work on his frame.
The show was...interesting. I was very pleased with his first three classes, and with his horsemanship pattern, but everything in between was just mediocre. Trail, I couldn't really have expected any more from him. We got through the pattern and that's the main thing, I suppose. But pleasure was rather awful. He wouldn't relax at all, and loped too fast. Then at the end of the class he just randomly shut down. I feel like it was a major step back from how things have been going, and I won't lie - I'm pretty upset by it. Command was very good considering our track record. He did fidget a little, but he stood calmly at least three times and was mostly listening to me - that is, until he decided to ignore me when I asked him to reverse and drifted to the center of the ring. I couldn't really use my legs that efficiently because the stirrups were so stiff, and it irritates me that he has to pick shows to act up. I don't want to get myself into that dangerous downward spiral that always results in me becoming way too aggressive and surly with him, but I'm pretty disappointed by those two classes. Reining was mostly okay, but again I don't think he was listening to me as he took two wrong leads when I cued him (and I'm pretty sure I asked him clearly), but he was relaxed and calm as he loped his circles and even after he did his spins -cough-pivots-cough-, so that was okay. I have no complaints as far as our horsemanship pattern. =)
I got dangerously close to having a meltdown today, though. I was really disappointed in my pleasure, reining and the end of my command class, and I started drifting into my downward spiral - that feeling of rising anger in my chest really makes me nervous, because I know that soon I'll start to get desperate and be really rough on him, which will make him even more nervous. I did have a bit of a moment in the morning where combined frustration - him not settling, my focus being oddly clouded, and people clumping up in the warmup ring were ticking me off, and I gave him a few good tugs with the lifesaver, which made me feel really bad.
It's the times like these that make me really doubt myself, make me revert back to a time when I had awful self esteem and just felt inadequate all the time, which now makes me get angry and makes me a very poor rider/trainer. I need to ditch this mood and get back to normal before I try and ride him again, because if I try and ride him before I let go of my frustration/resentment/what have you, it will drive him to be extremely nervous and me to get even angrier.
I think I need to work on my patience in general. I've been getting too heavy handed for my liking lately, tugging more than is really needed, and I don't want to ruin his good mouth. I also need to make a conscious effort to be steady and patient when he's being stupid, because getting tough gets us nowhere. An example of this is Friday, when I tried to do some circles. I got frustrated because he wasn't quieting down, and instead of trying to go back to rail work and settle him down and try again - maybe in a different area - I worked him much too hard and got much too tough on him, getting him all nervous. It's rides like yesterday and today that make me really, really hate myself, and it's not a good feeling.
I won't be riding tomorrow, but I might post again - see if I can't sort out my thoughts. Things are kind of jumbled right now.
Sarah
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